mummie dearest!!!

I realised tt I reali adore my mummie. Shes so cute! Haha tink as she ages she tends to stoop lower n lower to my level, n smtimes ah wah can give my “childishness” a run for my money man. =P I tink shes the best mum anyone can haf. U noe normally ppl do tend to show their nicer side to the non-family ppl? Like frens etc… while since their own family noe all their ugly sides they can smtimes bcm reali horrid-tempered n ill-mannered n can sit in all kinds of weird positions sprawled all over the hse? Eh but my mummie’s the opposite. Haha me n sis always tease her abt it, how she always assume a more hostile attitude at her workplace n yet return home n morphs into the most patient, tireless, sacrificial n cheery person ever. Not tt I am complaining! But its reali hilarious lah, cos she cant b bothered to b ultra nice to her bosses n yet tend to b especially nice to some of her urgh forget-it horrid meanies who tend to bully her smtimes juz for their own amusement. Gosh. Cant understand these &^%@^%(^(*^%#^@$^ bo liao ppl lah. Standing at 1.52 m, v short hor my mummie. Haha smtimes she’d wonder aloud how she managed to give birth to me! (chey I was much much more minute then mah!) n true, actually I also wonder smtimes lah. Hiak =P but I cannot having my mummie in any other form. She n her many idiosyncracies, like smtimes she’d bark at me or my sis to do the dishes, n my sis will usually shouts (wif her eyes glued to sm exciting Korean vcd as usual) okok soon lah. Next sec, can hear dishes being soaped even as my sis proceed to turn off the tv. Haha. Yep tts how impatient she can be! Can drive us nuts man. N recently, for no apparent reason, injuries started sprouting out all over her hands! Big angry ugly blisters on her fingers n juz this morn she practically sliced thru her finger while choppin on a stupid carrot lor. Fwah. Zhen shi de, zhe yang da leh hai yao ren dan xin!!!!! Still dare to smile happily at us n show us her wounds as if they were some war scars she got from fighting enemy soldiers. *rolls eyes* i wish she'd take care of herself! tink smtimes parents can juz b sooooooooooooo exasperating! can lecture us on how we shld always eat med when we r sick etc yet dont ever practise wat they preach. gosh. Its hard to capture the essence of mummie in words, cos smtimes these kind of thgs is impossible to describe. There r times when she speaks longingly of her retirement which wont materialize for many yrs still n I feel reali guilty. Cos I tink my sch fees r the reason y she n daddy r not opting for early retirement even though they r both so weary of trudging to work liao. Ok tt reminds me I shld prob work harder for my next ca. sigh. Howdie folks. Time to mug. *sorrowful* byebye lazy Sunday, hello Monday blues. *wails*

Finally stepped into the legendary settler’s café today in clarke quay. Haha felt quite ulu since almost ervyone I noe in the faculty has been there b4! Was quite an unexpectedly cosy little café tts hidden away from the more bustling part of clarke quay, was expecting more of a stylo mylo big place… actuali didn’t reali noe wat to look forward to, its been ages since I played any board games! N me being the ultra slow-poke n well-known for my snail-like reaction time, didn’t reali expect to njoy myself tt much. Oh I reali had lotsa fun! And I tink its actuali not a bad place to hold cls gatherings heh. Only abt half my jc cls turned up tho. Me, Sylvia, agnes, kaysing, Irene, zining, hungyi, wengyan, hongyan, lipjin, joses, jeff n Kevin. Played games like erm wait wats its name? The detective thgy lah. Cluedo? Eh dunno the find murderer one. Then got PIT! Hahaha hilarious! Me, Sylvia, Irene, zining became barbarians n totally without any xing xiang when we played tt! Cards were flying, hands were snatching, screams were aplenty! (btw its sort of like a “heart attack” kind of game lah) of cos I always end up as the loser lor. Being slow is horrible! Got laughed at n then Sylvia had to ask for the toy boing-boing hammer smmore to hit me with!!! *hides face in shame* zhen dui lian! Then we tried a game tt was on display, was from germany. Ehhhh smthg like hornesches or smthg lah! Haha with 8 players thgs were quite confusing as 1st esp since I tink only one staff remembers how to play it! (evrythg in german mah, cant read the instruction bklet heh) thgs turned erm ugly when all 7 of us gals played dirty n blatantly colluded with one another against lip jin hehe. Who asked him lah, so lucky, gg to win liao. In the end we got soooooooooooooooooooo tired of playin n playin tt hungyi juz gave up n sacrificed herself so we can all game! Haha =P Then we played more PIT. Tink the staff was very amused by us cos we were reali creatin such a ruckus! Hehe n we were njoying ourselves so much he gave us more toy hammers to beat each other up with. (see we were reali horribly violent for all to see ahha) in the end we forced lip to do forfeit n ask for the hp no. of a girl. Which I must say he did it quite well lah huh! Wahhh now feel reali tired. N quite guilty. For all my resolutions of muggin hard, I didn’t do anythg of tt sort today heh. Cos I slpt til 12++++. Oops. N my cute little niece came to my hse so of cos I was busy entertaining her. Oh shes soooooooooooooooo cute! Adorable!!! Talks in sm baby gargling way wif all the words muffled up haha. Went into raptures seeing my hammies running in the wheel n sticking their faces out at her. N ooooooooooo her little dimples tt kept showing when she giggles n smiles! Precious. =D bet she’d grow up to b real little beauty woah!! Hai feelin abit the worried abt soma now leh. Yunxin juz contacted the SIF person, seems like they r channelin all their funds to the tsunami-hit areas. As in, yar lah, understand they prob need the money much much more urgently than us but this means we r gg to have a lot of cash-flow problems. Hmm. Funny how thgs tt don’t seem to concern us can turn out to have a big impact on us a period of time later. Hope thgs will work out bah! (always look on the bright side of life.... lumdeedum)

50!!!!!!!!!! oh my god. 50 leh!!!

Ooooooooooooh horrifying. Unspeakable. Deeply ashamed. *stares at my toes* twiddle my thumbs* gah. Stupid stupid stupid bacteria!! I hate bacteria!! From their stupid yaddayadda toxins to their wateva lah drugs for treatment!!!! Dont ever let me see a stupid bacterium I'd charge at it with a parang. I got 50 for my MB test lor. Shld I b happy or sad huh? Not sure leh. Must admit I feel ok lah, didnt have the blues or depression. But hor, feel quite guilty leh, cos didnt study hard enuff. How come like tt leh? Tink I must work harder. N I've decided I shld hereby post all my results online if they are borderline passes. This is my protest against closet I-want-to-noe-ur-marks-but-I-wont-tell-u-mine-haha-wat-can-u-do type of ppl. Cos I figure I surely deserve wateva horrible marks I get mah, so I shant b afraid of ppl secretly tinking I am so stupid or wat. Heh. N its quite stifling for everyone to conceal their marks from each other for fear ppl will jeer at them or laugh behind their backs. Its so much better to sit back n view these numbers with detachment, I bet I can laugh at my 50 ten yrs down the road! n to all my 50-club frens, we muz jia you k!!!! *brave look* Oh but haven't come tt close to failing for a while liao. To tink I thot I have a much better chance of passin my MB than my patho. Ohhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Horrors of horrors. I'd prob get like 20 for patho. Aiyah. Heck lah. Verdict has been passed, wait for axe to fall lor. *gloom* But I've decided to turn over a new leaf!! No more slackin all yr round n panicking ten days b4 my ca! I'm gg to start studying NOW! (ok erm not v early huh since like almost everyone has started oh well to each his own =P) wo yi ding xing!!! (tryin hard to convince myself) wo yao fei jing wang shi de du shu! dont stop me!!!!! Oh yar, to ppl who complained abt my BORING blog, *shoot daggers at darryl the barrel*, sorry lor I am busy tryin to b a gd student to overly fuss over my blog tts anyway meant for my venting of frustrations more than anythg heh. Bleaghhh. In other words, I am not advanced enuff to erm do anythg else besides type. Hahah. Pardon me lah, I am OLD liao lah. Ok. Time to njoy sm quiet time to myself! Can ponder over a currently quite pressing decision on my mind. Wonder if I shld juz throw caution to the wind n do it? *tinktinktink* wah xiang dao tou fa dou bai le...

i smell like a giant pineapple tart

Ali baba has acquired a new skill at the ripe old age of 21! Yes! I am now officially an honorary member of the Association of Supreme Pineapple-tart Makers'2005. famous celebrities involved include honorary members ms bimbo lim huiting, mr yuen I-like-to-bake-gay-tarts yew sen, ms chen yunxin, mr sheldie who-wants-egg-omelettes weldie, ms my-personal-massager Geraldine, ms denise I-want-more-egg-omelettes, mr I-want-to-go-home jing yu, mr expert-at-rolling-tarts soe thihahahaha, mr chonghan, ms furene one-zone-of-albumin-treated-super-soft-skin wang, ms maureen n mr Daniel chor, of cos not forgetting overall supervisor mr slave-driver Chuen jye n taaaaaaaadaaaaaaaaaaaa the One n Only, Lovely Chef with the patience of one zillion donkeys who endured our training process, ms cheesie always-smile-no-matter-wat cheesie chan ching yee!!!!! (respected president of the club) Oh yes. I definitely sense a lingering smell of pineapple tarts after one n a half days of fully-packed, turbo-speed no toilet breaks no lunch no nothg slave-driving pineapple tart intensive training n immediate baking session. *ALL MUSCLES START GROANING LIKE MAD* haha I am seeing pineapple tarts in my dreams liao. Juz put sm dough n paste beside my bed at nite n taadaa awake to the fresh aroma of freshly-baked pineapple tarts tt juz ooooooooooooooo melts in ur mouth!! No kidding. We baked abt 4000 tarts in all. N y? all bcos there r reali erhmmm lovely ppl like mr chong money-no-problem! Kok wee who bought up abt half the orders. Oh my poor aching back!! Tink I muz hire a masseuse to give me a back massage else I shld break my piggy bank n indulge in an osim massage chair complete with music. I finally understand the feelings of the long-ago slaves. *Sniffsniff* But these horrible 11-hr sessions r reali good for understanding ppl better. I suddenly realized how kind-hearted cheesie is! Refuses to kill ants even tho they r nibbling on her cookies. N how patient! N how sacrificial! Was there for all three days n had absolutely no complaints whatsoever. Same for sennie, sheldie n chuen jye. I couldn’t take it after juz one day, almost didn’t want to go today lor. Gosh. These ppl deserve a round of applause!! *kneels down respectfully* tink I'm gonna tear whenever I see pineapple tarts o sale in ntuc now. Oh btw I brought back my order of $10 worth of pineapple tarts. Even though I was graduated with the highest honours due to my perfectly shaped, just-the-right-sized, thin crust n full of filling, professional-looking tarts, in a flash of self-sacrifice I chose to bring home a box of suspiciously black n charred looking tarts. Hoo boy was I upset! Taste horrible. Taste of charcoal. Haha. Oh poor me I shld haf left tt box for one of the poor unsuspecting souls who ordered from us! N taken the non-charcoal ones. Darn! Oh well. At least now I now wat I can be if I fail to graduate from med sch. Take ur pick: pineapple tart maker or first cls masseuse. hehe

hohoho i feel the festive air of chines new yr!!! *gasp* shocking!!! its only like 3 wks away! yahoo!!! cant wait. *smacks lips in appreciation* i can smelllll my beloved mandarin oranges AND pineapple tarts AND rou gan already! *swoon* ah. but no. this chinese new yr i must restrain myself. cos of my lose-weight-or-die resolution! heh. aiyah but so sian evryday cm home so late no energy to go exercise leh. smone pls ma xing wo ba. haha. but smhow i always manage to squeeze sm time to watch this reali funny korean vcd series entitled :little bride 18" or smthg like dat lah. highly recommended!!! i love it!! pls evryone go n buy it. i was watching it up til the 2nd last day b4 my ca haha atrocious. i am properly appalled by my behaviour. ahha but still its too gd to miss! good for a laugh, n seriously very sweet. of cos not suitable for guys tho. i will recommend this to ah ting the bimbo etc hehe. erm bet xtine will love it too! hiak =P today's highlights was tadaa i got a parcel! hmmm i love receiving the postman's notice for me to collect a "bulky article" etc. ahhh then can spend alot of time tryin to figure out who it can possibly be from! so exciting rite! heh. oh but of cos i get grouchy when its sm very DUH thg like free gift from TIME magazine or smthg. bleagh. or when they keep askin me to collect from the bt panjang branch when the cck one is so much more convenient! oh but i digressed haha. the parcel was from none other than my beloved dearest pri sch fren huiying! wooohooo!!! contains my bdae pressie. *grinz* contains a lovely erm shockingly hot pink funky piggie n a less 45% fat 3-musketeers chocolate bar (which she assured me i can munch on without guilt!) n a heat-shaped box of hmmm fine chocs! sigh. i feel so lucky. haha. thx dearie!! i love surprises like tt! ahaha feel so touched n warm n fuzzy hehe oh yes!!! the xtine gave me my second part of my bdae gift too! (oh btw i finished the godiva chocs liao. *licks mouth* yumyum) its a.... BAG! wow! *feign surprise* hahaha oops ok erm cos she asked me wat i want mah, so i sorta noe wat i will get liao. ehehe oh but its an amazing bag! we figured out three different ways of carryint it! funky man! oh but also agreed tt the sling-bag style is the best whahaha. yay! n i got lovely beaded pink loop earrings (tt we painstakingly stuffed thru my tortured n traumatised ear-holes in the toilet outside lt28 while the other girls watch n grimaced in pain) =Doh but i love it!!! thx babe!!! hahaha i now haf more bags then i noe wat to do with, but i seriously tink one can nv haf too many bags. i am a famous earrings n bag collector, yep n my mum;s gg to faint the nxt time she opens my cupboard. oh well. u noe, if u r readin my blog rite now, PLS BUY PINEAPPLE TARTS/COOKIES FROM ME!!! its for a good cause woah! we r raising funds for our june trip to myanmar (yayayayay!!) n the samples baked my none other than taaaddaaaaaaaaaaaa The Great Baker Cheesie Chan!! (applause pls) were hmmmmmmmmm superb! i love the pineapple tarts! cant wait to bake (n of cos eat them eheh oops) this wkend! tho i seriously doubt ours will b as nice as cheesie's... do ur part for charity woah! haha me n ah ting ganged up today to bully n coerce our pbl grp mates into buying... aiyah but tink we r not fierce anuff, in the end ah beng n wenshen jumped onto 95 to escape our thick-skinned hard-selling while zheng jye n weiqin retreated to the busstop. gah. oh but shunting bought tho! n in the end weiqin too! *smirk* it reali taste good wat... smmore quite cheap! here r the prices: pineapple tarts (28 pieces): $6 pineapple tarts (48 pieces): $10 cookies: $2 heart-shaped cookies: $3 PLS SUPPORT! haha must give face k! hiak =P

i seem to b having a quarter life crisis. surely there must b more to life than... this. gg to sch, attending lectures, gg for tutorials, then coming home, n then repeatin evrythg again n again n again. life seems to b in a rut. have been drifting apart from ppl who mean so much to me, but yet i am hardly making effort to reali keep in touch. smtimes i wonder wat i am doing leh. as in, wat do i see as impt? good grades? definitely not. as in i will want to pass n to b able to say i have done my best, but getting gd grades juz seem like such a childish pride kinda thg. i've outgrown tt. being with my gd frens? mebbe, but evryone juz seem so busy n anyway when i am in sch i usually juz hang out wif my clique, seems weird to keep flitting here n there. nut social butterfly wat. but i realise i miss hanging out with ah qing they all too. like today in her car, juz gossiping n u noe, juz njoying their company n stuff, realised its been ages since i've reali done smthg fun 2gether with them. didnt manage to go for xmas party cos of gastric flu, haiyah. n seriously, it's v touching to realise ppl still remember to call u along for stuff like tt. but its juz me lah, i will tink of my frens but i am the keep-them-in-my-thots-but-wont bother-to-ask-them-out kind of person. eh dunno y tho. juz quite reclusive in my own way i guess. not tt i want to, seriously, but i oso cant explain my weird behaviour. i will remember to msg them on bdaes n stuff, but on wkends i either njoy stewing at hm or will simply go out wif the same old ppl leh. smtimes mebbe cos u noe, u juz get scared tt mtgin up wif old frens mean alot of awkward silences tt u will force u to rack ur brains n painfully force out sm reali banal matters to tok abt, which i dont like lah. i realise i am only chatty when i am wif my oldie frens whom i am perfectly comfy with, else i'd juz clam up like a shell n haf a painfully polite smile on my face. aiyah i am juz bad at makin small talk. so its either i am reali close to u or we can only remain as acquaintances, cos i dont like n i cant "put up a show" like i noe many ppl r adept in, u noe like pretending to b on reali gd terms when they actuali r hi-bye frens. there r always a few special ppl who make me feel at ease wif them rite from the start. usually i will start out feelin weird lah, them will always tok abt boring stuff abt sch etc etc. haha sure conversation killer! but cant help it. u ask me to tok abt clothes, i noe nuts, i juz wear wat i like. u ask me abt gossip, usually i am the last to noe, for sm reason. tink my antenna is faulty. u ask me abt sports, hoho even worse. cos my idea of exercise is like once a blue moon jog n my idea of excietment is rollerblading. heh which i have tried for exactly once. n yes haf refused to go wif ppl i am unfamiliar wif. cos i dont relish in the idea of fallin flat on my face in front of a whole crowd of strangers. i shall juz wait for lihui to go rollerblading with me again, i feel perfectly at home falling all over the place in front of her. n greggie has been inviting me to go floorballing, which reali sound interestin ahah but i am such a recluse i dont feel like making a fool of myself in front of ppl i dunno. yeah very boring hor? i am just such a "safe" person. i have my own comfort zone, n i dont reali like to venture far from it. smtimes i feel like i am gg thru the motions in life n not reali tinking abt wat i reali reali reali want. i noe my long term goal will b to graduate n finally do my job with compassion n optimism, but meanwhile wat is there to do beside juz muggin? i suddenly feel like gg for a loooooooooooooooooooong holiday. smwhere peaceful. haha preferably a temperate country with a big big farm n cute little animals to play with. oh yes n interestin thgs to do like er i dunno do ppl still churn butter nowadays? n gg for picnics n camping trips with wonderful waterfalls. oh n to build a snowman. haha. my childhood dream. another ques on my mind, i wonder y i am so diff fr my sis. shes chirpy, n greet ppl with a spontaneity tt ppl in this modern society usually refrain from. like shes the kind who will say hello! to the counter cashier aunty in ntuc. while i will juz mumble thankew n walk off. n i flare up more easily too when i feel i've been wronged or smthg like tt, n i'm horrendously stubborn when i noe i am right n the other party's at fault. i wont apologise one. but my sis will try to give way if the other party is too egoistic to say sorry. aiyah, i haf so many flaws i dunno where to begin to change leh. tried sayin sorry to smone who's clearly at fault today! n feel quite out-of-sorts. yucks. as if i have compromised on my principles. urgh. not tt i regret doin it lah, cos i feel i've grown up liao cannot b so stubborn but i feel super indignant tt the other party didnt acknowledge my apology! *grouch* i tink i am not kuan rong da liang enuff. bah. muz learn from my sis. aiyah. actuali i am juz grouchy cos of tt recipient of my apology lah. cos i feel i am willing to say sorry to a person whom i feel strongly is the one at fault mah, then u shld b gracious enuff to accept it rite!?!? i mean, the nerve of u!! fwah. xiang dao jiu qi. ok i feel better. *deep breath* must reali learn to control my volcanic temper n mule-headedness better now tt i am OLD. okokokok mebbe shld take up taichi or chinese calligraphy, supposedly can train patience n give u an inner peace rite? yepz. blogging's great for unwinding. hehe. yay i feel much better now. =)

erhmm attention i am OLD

Yep, its official! I'm now ancient. Haha. Old, doddering, senile, whiskered, white-haired! Gosh turning 21 reali is kinda traumatic. *ponders* of cos, u young ppl out there (ignoramuses eheh) wont understand the oh complex feeling of morphing into an adult. *wisely* hahahahaha!!!! Ok I better keep my mouth shut. Aiyah actuali its not tt big a deal lah. I half expected smthg reali momentous to happen, like u noe suddenly sprout sm whiskers or suddenly bcming all prim n proper to mark this milestone in my life!!! (I mean, there r fewer laws I can break! As sheldie happily declared, I can go watch RA movies with all the old foggies in the gang liao... Gosh didn't noe sheldie frequents these hotspots for lecherous old men. Shudder smmore he can act them out! Wailll) hmmm I don't feel any older leh, or any wiser. Or mebbe I was oredi very wise to begin with! *beams* I tink the very first thg tts happening to me after I am 21 is tt I am getting fatter. Shit! Haha must be all the bdae cakes!!!! 5 cakes in all, I am sooooooooooooooo dead. I can feel all the fat globules happily swimming thru my bldstream n settling down comfortably in the cosy nooks of my tummy n flabby arms n urgh I cant go on. *nauseated look* oh but I aint complaining!! Not yet at least. *smack lips in appreciation* lets see, my fav cake has to be the one zhengyi baked! Haha lovely lovely blueberry cheesecake!!!!! *drools* with lovely oh-so-fluffy sponge cake in btw n multiple layers of fat n juicy blueberries!!! *swoon* xtine n I almost fainted with joy on the spot. Hahaha aiyah too bad lihui wasn't there to fight with us for the cake, would have been even more fun. =P erm. N btw xtine, I was utterly shocked n embarrassed by ur behaviour yesterday. Fancy poking ur fingers to steal the cream off my cake!!!! So paiseh!!! *pretends not to noe u* haven't had anyone taking a swipe at my cake since I was five lor, when my sis calmy stuck her whole finger into my cake b4 the song was sung!!! Hahahahahahah hilarious. Oh n we bcm so full we didn't order any mudpies…. Muz go bac ok!!! (if we can find our way bac tt is… all of us got lost for a gd half an hr b4 FINALLY reaching tt place!) Finally went ktving again yesterday!!! Woohoo!!!!! But there was only 3 of us, xtine zy n me. Cos poor lihui was sick. *patpat* n of cos meiling was away in UK. Sigh. Haha but ok lah, still had lots of fun dancing (errr xtine n zy!!!) 2gether with SHE n jolin n prancing ard the rm like sm mad ppl heheh. Oh!! For once we didn't sing a single jielun song. Gosh. Hahah must b like a record for us eh?! Must b cos xtine ditched him for smone else liao… *wink* Oh no. I still haf godiva chocs (from xtine!!! Ayyayayayaya!!!) n half a blueberry cheesecake waving to me from my fridge. So guys, if I suddenly jumped a few sizes pls do NOT ask me wat happened. I cant control it!!! Ahah oh yar but I was ordered to save a slice for jiabin!!! Ahah erm jiabin see how lah huh if theres still sm remnants left by mon morn I'd bring it to sch for u! ahhaha. Oh yar must try to meet lihui too to give her sm yummy cake. Sigh I love having frens who bake!!!!! Ahahhahaha To tell the truth, I am not tt exicted abt bdaes anymore lah. Cos last time young mah, excited cos bdae = presents!!! But now it doesn’t even seem to matter if I don’t party with my frens leh. Juz havin my family ard is like such a great way to celeb oredi! Oh meiling juz called me!!! From London!! *beams* I feel loved. Hahaha juz as I was feelin sad tt me bdae's over, she said it shld me my bdae MONTH instead. Ahah which means I can celeb juz abit longer! Yay! Ahha =P yay thx meiling, wat a great surprise! Sorry cant save cake for u though, wld haf bcm a penicillin-growing factory by the time u r bac heh. =P oh don't worry I'd help u eat it up haha Oh yes zy thx for ur gift!!! I am reali reali happy to get it!!! I love hand-made gifts!!! Though I must say I look REALI HIDEOUS last time, u shldnt haf used those fotos. URGH. Give me the creepy crawlies juz looking at tt URGH person tt was me. Hahaha I want to dig a hole n hide my face. Gosh. But still, it's a reali great pressie! One of my favs!! I'd try to hang it up! Ayayayyaya! Oh n my sis got me a diamond! Fwah. Haha so extravagant!!! Actuali I'm not one to go gaga over these bling-blings lah, but tink its quite significant to receive my very first diamond!!! Woohoo!!!! Thx lao-jie! Hugs erm but seems weird if I wear it to sch everyday leh, which she wants me to. Groan cos I reali don't haf the habit of wearin a necklace to sch, tink its very mah-fan. =P I am so bored. Stewing at home. Had a sneezing period again today, aiyah I want to change nose lah. So sian! Ok nvm I tink I better juz stop writing, go watch my vcd! Yayayay. Tataz! Countdown to yiqing's bdae woah!!! Ahhaha =D

happie NEW year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahah wow!!!! look!!! its 2005!!!!! my gosh. HAPPIE new YEAR!!!! *pulls ur ear* hahahahahahahha i am BLoggIng!!! wow look at me, reborned after my horrendous absolutely atrocious nightmarish encounter with MB n Patho cas tt still send a shiver down my spine. *shudder* well, before all u guys read my underlined name from the board, i shall hereby announce tt i am GOING to FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! taddaaa!! haha for both i tink. hahaha. due to lack of time n extreme smallness of brain, oh n not to mention absolute abhorrence n dislike of muggin during the pseudo-hols. haha. no more shame if i fail! cos i decide marks r just marks lah huh, they cant make or break me! *wink* oh yes. so many thgs haf happened to me in the past yr, feel like a changed person. marked most memorably by my most beloved gran's passing on xmas day. i love u granny, can u hear me from up there? i guess i shld b happy for my gran. cos evryone loves her, n she passed away at a grand old age of 89, surrounded by 21 grandchildren n 21 great grandchildren. n the hoards of ppl tt came to pay their respects, it realu shocked n astounded me no end. i knew she was well-loved, but didnt ever hear abt all the stories that lie behind her great spread of frens. u noe, up to this day, i have yet to master teochew to communicate with my gran, which i reali reali reali regret. of cos, i felt happy tt at least i have improved, n my gran noticed! but i guess sm thgs juz dont hafta b expressed in words. so wat i lack for in words, i made it up with actions. petting her back, holding her hand, feedling her. when i was young, i nv did appreciate havin granparents, cos to me, theres a huge language barrier n then i was too young to appreciate their love n care. n yet, there came a pt in time when u realise their love for u is unconditional, n u just begin to love them back. more often than not, i tink we r not born to love anyone unconditionally immediately. i like to tink tt my gran's in heaven now, being an angel, cos knowing how big a heart she has, she must surely b one. =) even tho the yr ended on a sad note, i guess 2004 has been pretty special to me as well. so many thgs happened ttt possibly changed me alot, there had been reali an excess of both laughter n tears. my trip to myanmar, for example, smthg i will tuck away for ultra-long storage in my memory bank, a place where i rediscovered the enjoyment derived from single thgs in life. n where i discovered the unwavering care of frens whom i have barely known for long, who tended to me so carefully when i was ill. THANKEW! u guys rock my world. to zhengyi, whose status jumped from i-tink-u-r-my-best-guy-fren to u-r-definitely-the-best-guy-fren! thx for being there. thru the bumpy period! reali glad to haf u to groan to when thgs go wrong. haha n thx for bearing with all my nonsense n complaints n idiosyncracies! n for all ur tiong bahru char siew paus n stollen n bdae dinner...YUM! hope ur yr ahead will b relatively smooth too, hang in there pal! to lihui twinny, hey darling, sorry for not being able to meet up often at all... aiyah reali miss talkin to u n juz hanging out 2gether!! to huiying everdearest!!! thx for al ur multi-nation postcards, reali look forward to hearin fr u each time u fly!!! haha n thx for being there always! has been sl long since we knew each other huh! to my last crush of 2004! haha thx for making the end-of-yr so perfect. oh u dunno i haf crush on u lah, but juz want to say u reali reali touched me in a way no one else has had ever b4. though i dont show it, i reali admire the guts u haf of sayin wat u want n lookin as if u mean it. (well i do hope u mean it!) though i started out disliking u immensely, haha was reali grateful for ur company in the end, n for all ur little titbits n lozenges n rum n raisin ice cream! n of cos all tt u said to me. for once, i feel as if smone saw me as the person i was, instead of juz seeing me as tall/short/fat/thin classification. xie xie ni. tho we may nv meet again, i'd always remember this encounter. =) i realise alot of thgs in life r just not meant to be. smtimes u just want to b happy, but so many little hiccups happen along the way tt u cant remember y u r living this dratted life. then smtimes u juz feel like u r in the dumps, but an unlikely fren juz appear n pull u out of tt black hole. smtimes u just wish tt thgs can b like this forever, yet the very nxt day, nothg's the same as yesterday's. smtimes u r so sure tt u haf found the perfect fren, but then the thgs happen n the very person can just b the one to hurt u the most with words. n smtimes when u feel like evrythg is gg wrong, smone turns up n puts evrythg right again. a fren of mine whom i have not seen for 1 yr flew to sweden today. for an exchange programme, so i went to see her off without her knowing. haha she was my nokia ex-colleague, we called ourselves mohd ali bin dabian, mohd amin bin ___ (tts her, cant remember her last name), n mohd aping bin lausai (i tink! another fren haha)... dont ask me y, mebbe we r just so bored tryin to sell fones haha =P working together for 3 mths has reali fostered strong ties, n tonite the memories juz came flooding bac. a pretty gd feeling. realised i reali miss the two of them. haha so gd times we had together, with mianxian aka jason as our boss! i realise my problem is lack of time to catch up with my frens, in the end i may jus lose them. sigh. dont feel like bloggin anymore. ahha shall juz announce my new yr resolution! which is to b happy. i havent b reali happy for a very long time. thgs juz keep cropping up, one after another. but this yr, even if the sky falls on me, i'd wanta keep smiling! yeah yeah yeah. haha oh well. one day to eternal adluthood. sigh. i mus make full use of my final day of youth. haha