happie NEW year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahah wow!!!! look!!! its 2005!!!!! my gosh. HAPPIE new YEAR!!!! *pulls ur ear* hahahahahahahha i am BLoggIng!!! wow look at me, reborned after my horrendous absolutely atrocious nightmarish encounter with MB n Patho cas tt still send a shiver down my spine. *shudder* well, before all u guys read my underlined name from the board, i shall hereby announce tt i am GOING to FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! taddaaa!! haha for both i tink. hahaha. due to lack of time n extreme smallness of brain, oh n not to mention absolute abhorrence n dislike of muggin during the pseudo-hols. haha. no more shame if i fail! cos i decide marks r just marks lah huh, they cant make or break me! *wink* oh yes. so many thgs haf happened to me in the past yr, feel like a changed person. marked most memorably by my most beloved gran's passing on xmas day. i love u granny, can u hear me from up there? i guess i shld b happy for my gran. cos evryone loves her, n she passed away at a grand old age of 89, surrounded by 21 grandchildren n 21 great grandchildren. n the hoards of ppl tt came to pay their respects, it realu shocked n astounded me no end. i knew she was well-loved, but didnt ever hear abt all the stories that lie behind her great spread of frens. u noe, up to this day, i have yet to master teochew to communicate with my gran, which i reali reali reali regret. of cos, i felt happy tt at least i have improved, n my gran noticed! but i guess sm thgs juz dont hafta b expressed in words. so wat i lack for in words, i made it up with actions. petting her back, holding her hand, feedling her. when i was young, i nv did appreciate havin granparents, cos to me, theres a huge language barrier n then i was too young to appreciate their love n care. n yet, there came a pt in time when u realise their love for u is unconditional, n u just begin to love them back. more often than not, i tink we r not born to love anyone unconditionally immediately. i like to tink tt my gran's in heaven now, being an angel, cos knowing how big a heart she has, she must surely b one. =) even tho the yr ended on a sad note, i guess 2004 has been pretty special to me as well. so many thgs happened ttt possibly changed me alot, there had been reali an excess of both laughter n tears. my trip to myanmar, for example, smthg i will tuck away for ultra-long storage in my memory bank, a place where i rediscovered the enjoyment derived from single thgs in life. n where i discovered the unwavering care of frens whom i have barely known for long, who tended to me so carefully when i was ill. THANKEW! u guys rock my world. to zhengyi, whose status jumped from i-tink-u-r-my-best-guy-fren to u-r-definitely-the-best-guy-fren! thx for being there. thru the bumpy period! reali glad to haf u to groan to when thgs go wrong. haha n thx for bearing with all my nonsense n complaints n idiosyncracies! n for all ur tiong bahru char siew paus n stollen n bdae dinner...YUM! hope ur yr ahead will b relatively smooth too, hang in there pal! to lihui twinny, hey darling, sorry for not being able to meet up often at all... aiyah reali miss talkin to u n juz hanging out 2gether!! to huiying everdearest!!! thx for al ur multi-nation postcards, reali look forward to hearin fr u each time u fly!!! haha n thx for being there always! has been sl long since we knew each other huh! to my last crush of 2004! haha thx for making the end-of-yr so perfect. oh u dunno i haf crush on u lah, but juz want to say u reali reali touched me in a way no one else has had ever b4. though i dont show it, i reali admire the guts u haf of sayin wat u want n lookin as if u mean it. (well i do hope u mean it!) though i started out disliking u immensely, haha was reali grateful for ur company in the end, n for all ur little titbits n lozenges n rum n raisin ice cream! n of cos all tt u said to me. for once, i feel as if smone saw me as the person i was, instead of juz seeing me as tall/short/fat/thin classification. xie xie ni. tho we may nv meet again, i'd always remember this encounter. =) i realise alot of thgs in life r just not meant to be. smtimes u just want to b happy, but so many little hiccups happen along the way tt u cant remember y u r living this dratted life. then smtimes u juz feel like u r in the dumps, but an unlikely fren juz appear n pull u out of tt black hole. smtimes u just wish tt thgs can b like this forever, yet the very nxt day, nothg's the same as yesterday's. smtimes u r so sure tt u haf found the perfect fren, but then the thgs happen n the very person can just b the one to hurt u the most with words. n smtimes when u feel like evrythg is gg wrong, smone turns up n puts evrythg right again. a fren of mine whom i have not seen for 1 yr flew to sweden today. for an exchange programme, so i went to see her off without her knowing. haha she was my nokia ex-colleague, we called ourselves mohd ali bin dabian, mohd amin bin ___ (tts her, cant remember her last name), n mohd aping bin lausai (i tink! another fren haha)... dont ask me y, mebbe we r just so bored tryin to sell fones haha =P working together for 3 mths has reali fostered strong ties, n tonite the memories juz came flooding bac. a pretty gd feeling. realised i reali miss the two of them. haha so gd times we had together, with mianxian aka jason as our boss! i realise my problem is lack of time to catch up with my frens, in the end i may jus lose them. sigh. dont feel like bloggin anymore. ahha shall juz announce my new yr resolution! which is to b happy. i havent b reali happy for a very long time. thgs juz keep cropping up, one after another. but this yr, even if the sky falls on me, i'd wanta keep smiling! yeah yeah yeah. haha oh well. one day to eternal adluthood. sigh. i mus make full use of my final day of youth. haha