TEEHEEHEEHEE.

WAILS.

Yep that’s right results of the professional exams are out.

Obviously I shouldn’t have expected top grades for er this er important but no-time-to-mug-for-it subject, but ah well. It still hurts to look at the grade. Boo. Maybe it’s not such a great idea to study it only when I have some spare time. (juniors beware! COFM needs more than half-hearted effort to mug).

On the other hand…. Surprise! I did better than expected in pharmacology! YAY!!! Three cheers for myself! (considering I got like 59 for my last test… I cant help grinning teeheehee) ah well. At least hard work pays off. Though in the few hrs leading to the first exam I still felt as though nothing was being retained. And of course not forgetting my horrid insomnia which caused me to sleep for a total of 3 measly hours.

So these two grades balance out. Hah. Its like eating both a horrid-tasting Chinese medicine and a lovely chocolate at the same time. darn! kills the joy of it.

I must say that my faith in humanity is restored.

*sniffles*

The unexpected has happened!!!

After 4 months and 5 days of cursings and mutterings from a disgruntled being whose right ankle is permanently clad in a black lethal looking bulky ankle guard, silence and amazement struck on the 17th March’ 2006 at precisely 1700 hrs.

I entered the MRT (mentally rolling my eyes at WHY Singaporeans feel the immense urge to push and shove as if it’s a matter of life and death whether they are the first or second to get onto the MRT). I stared at the ceiling and read some pretty interesting advert about bird poo and whether it was a good day for investment. I smiled at my sister, and then realized that an Indian lady sitting right in front of me was looking at me earnestly.

“Would you like to take a seat?”

“…..! Oh! It’s ok! Thanks a lot!” was my stunned reply. You see, it’s not that I don’t wish to sit down, but in all the four months plus that I had been hobbling around, I have given up the secret wish that some kind soul would offer me a seat. So it was really a major surprise to be offered a seat when I least expected it.

I took the seat in the end, after much nudging from my sister and graciousness on the Indian lady’s part.

I was really really really very touched. It seems like such a nice thing to do! Especially since the MRT was rather crowded and she was not getting off soon. At that point in time, I really wished that nice things would come her way, and that she would just lead a very blessed life. So nice, wasn’t it?! and she wasn’t even one of those youngsters you see who ought to be the first to offer seats to the needier folks; she was a lady in her thirties. Strikes me as very real, un-poser-ish and very open and ready about giving up her seat.

Awwww.

If I was a journalist, I would gladly take down her name and trumpet her act of goodwill to the whole of Singapore. See! This is what people should be doing! Instead of pretending to doze off/hide behind newspapers/look at the floor/stared at you defiantly (which is the worst!).

And I promise myself never to laugh at or encourage any more racist jokes.

Perhaps it was the good example she set, but I have never in my life seen so many seats being given up in one single ride.
A china lady opposite me gave up her seat to an elderly malay granny.

The young Indian girl sitting beside me gave up her seat to the equally elderly friend of the malay granny.

A Chinese ah-soh who earlier on unceremoniously shoved past the throngs to get a seat gave up her seat to a heavily pregnant lady.

What an unbelievable day. *smiles contentedly*

retro ktv!!! yaaahooooooooooo!

“Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight, won’t somebody help me chase the shadows awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

YEAH!!!! ABBA rocks!!!! Ok er in case my poor horrified friends are all prepared to spread the word that I have gone man-crazy, this is just one of the super super must-sing ktv songs of my life! Ah finally ktv after like a few mths “drought”!!!! (seems like not many ppl to ktv with without zy around boo =\ )

Second time ktv-ing with huiting and gang (txl,qich,timo,hope,ivan, Alvin), well it was a mighty fun time today I must say! Heehee! Although of course I almost gave ah ting a heart attack with my impromptu whooping (wo hen zi “high” de!) and wild gesticulations!!!! Haha but be warned: this is only like a fraction of my ktv madness… shld see me with zy they all… they are like times infinity more feng…!

I realized its super fun to sing with timo!!!! Mebbe cos he’s the next crazy person other than me and ah ting… we have no xing xiang, none at all!!! Wah, it must be smthg catching in the RV culture, we seem exceptionally unrestrained when we holler/boogie/whoop/sing-two-thousand-words-with-one-single-breath/wildly-wave-our-arms/do-cheesy-“grease”-style-actions!!!!

(poor txl, sandwiched btw me and timo, wailed that she was stuck between two loonies. *evil cackle*)

And I cant wait for my ankle to recover so tt I can go mambo! (yep I was born in that era. Made for me. Hee.) huiting mz wait for meeee! Haha

Oh anyway the hols are almost over. Limited mobility means my variety of activities are still restricted. But never fear! The bone scan shows no weird osteoblastic actitivity!!! *cheers* so I shld be fine in another two mths? Lets hope so. Heh.

Oh yes. Overseas electives! Can anyone recommend a western country for me and ah ting to go to? Hopefully the med sch is quite ok one! And we don’t really want to spend big bucks heh so it’d be nice if we have friends where we are going!!! *hinthint*

supplement

and i do wonder why some people treat their friends like secondary to their other halves. maybe i dont understand, since i dont have a boyfriend. but its amazing how much damage the "attached" status can do to a friendship. some can be repaired, good as new. some escape permanent damage and survive with small scars. some friends simply regard each other as strangers from then on.

i am glad that among the many attached friends who have forgotten about me, remains those who still care. i count my blessings for every time i see you, hear your bdae wishes, unwrap your present, laugh at your silly jokes, roll around with amusement at your hilarious words, scold you for your egoistic attitude, act the clown with you, or simply be myself. i love you guys, more than words can say really. =)

what i really think about love

As I watched my current favourite Korean drama serial, I gushed and go goggle-eyed and all giggly and silly and dreamy (along with my sis and yes my MUM who seems the most besotted with the male lead), I often wonder if all these shows I am addicted to are just that --- nothing more than shows.

I mean, how likely is it for a 30 year old plump and not-so-pretty and an au naturel beauty suppose to make a 27 year old good-looking and successful rich young man fall for her?? Not when there are prettier (including man-made beauties), slimmer, gentler, richer, more demure girls out there.

I can see an evolving trend in the society. In the past, obesity was a real turn-off; those whose BMI tip the scales at more than 19 will gasp in horror, scream with fright and then promptly resolve to shed 5 kilos before they let a piece of meat slips by their mouth.

The new weighty issue is the status of attached vs the unattached.

Believe me when I say that I have absolutely nothing against the attached couples in the world. It makes me happy to see them together, some whose love really shines through makes you look forward to the day when you find a special love like that too. What I can never understand is why it seems to be a taboo to talk about your unattachedness.

Some friends make me feel like a criminal for being single.

Which is totally wrong isn’t it?

Being in love is suppose to be a natural thing, it comes and it goes. You can want it but you definitely cant force it. Some may feel the need to “lets get attached!!!!”. I am not sure why. Maybe cos it seems to say to the whole world that hey, I am lovable! Hey I am likeable! Hey I am wanted and loved! But in all my 22 years as a single, I have yet to feel unloved. Ups and downs in friendships can upset me, erode my good feelings about myself, but help always arrive. People who love me, my parents, my sis, my those few true friends who would never ever leave me. They rally, they support, they cure. But yet, at this point in time, it seems like society is ready for a brand new stigma: that of a single.

I have always marveled at how people meet, converse, fall in love. Simultaneously mind you! That is no mean feat. But how many of these happily-together couples are truly happy together?

I have always wanted to find someone who can love me just the way I am. I thought things were that simple somehow. Then I realized it isn’t. it isn’t just about two of us falling in love. It isn’t about being comfortable and happy with each other. To be practical and cynically put, its about all these and realizing that you can accept everything that comes with the person.

His background. His academic level. His career. His culture. His language. His religion.

So when the time comes for me to take the plunge and try things out, I realize it just isn’t possible. To try means to hope, to hope means heartbreak when things don’t work out. And you realize its better not to start at all. Because one single date may give the wrong idea, and think of all the heartbreak that is going to follow. A lot of people seems to feel that hey, its ok, go on a date, if you don’t like him then just let go. Seems terribly cruel though.

For instance, I know I would never be able to go out with someone who cant understand my language. Not in the he-speaks-latin-i-speak-chinese sense, but in the i-cant-understand-the-words-you-use sense. I don’t see myself as a linguist. My language cannot be more average than I know. But it we cant even communicate without me feeling as if I am embarrassing you by using words you do not know of, I can see no future.

Its better to let it go.

I would choose to say no. then the chance to go on a date, a chance to tell my friends: hey get off my back, I am doing my share of dating. Stop pairing me up with every tom, dick, harry.

I am a happy singleton. I would rather wait than enter a zillion relationships not knowing what it is that I want. I thank my friends who are worried for me (sincerely worried), and I am amused by them when they spout rubbish about me and so-and-so. But I wish that friends who are happily attached would stop making ridiculous pairings. It just puts me off. What’s wrong with being single? I feel like an item being discounted outrageously when you shove me towards this and that person. I do have a right to love, I believe?

And no, much as I love to watch my Korean dramas, I don’t believe they do happen to people like me…