crap.

Whew. Any week gone. I wonder how long more I can tahan!!!
Gosh, I sure am lousy. *disgusted look* jz three wks into hospital postings n I feel like I’ve aged 20 yrs. So tired! N I keep feeling like my brain I simply much too small to learn evrythg well enough. *stares enviously at the HOs and MOs*

The days have sort of fallen into a very unsatisfactory n highly unpalatable routine.

Alarm rings on average from 5.50am to 6.20am all days of the week. Jolts me awake. *grouchy slpy face*

Slpwalks to the bathrm. Always wondered how I managed to get there in one piece without falling over my big feet (not easy walking wif eyes closed u noe!!!) n not oooo for example fall into the toilet bowl by mistake. Not tt I am small enuff to fall in lah.

Wif my fierce don’t-u-dare-tok-to-me Zhong Kui look tt never fails to strike fear in the hearts of even the bold, blatantly n pointedly ignore the existence of other fellow human beings moving furtively ard the hse at this ungodly hr. which almost always means my dad. Not much of a conversationalist when I have less than 12 hrs of beauty slp. Haha.

Gets out of the hse within 30 min. hop on bus. Get on mrt. N behaving like any true Singaporean, avoid the eyes of al fellow commuters as we travel in stoic silence to our final destinations. No no not in companionable silence. But wif a kind of sizzling fizzling underlying currents of boiling rage at how unfair life is. Like for example why ppl like mong only have to get to sgh by 9.30am while I hafta be rudely torn apart form my Bed to reach ttsh at 8am.

Tries in vain to cram more facts in my teeny weeny antsy bitsy brain b4 I reach novena. Cos of cos naturally I kept fallin aslp at my table last nite as I was tryin to b studious. N yar my heart weeps whenever I pass by these mrt stations : bishan. I tink of txl. Toa payoh. I tink of sijin. Novena!!! I tink of hopey dopey. GAH. If only I live in these areas. *sulks*

And yes. Begins my day of turtle-slow upslope crescendo peaking of my energy lvl, which last for oooo all of 5 min. following lunch I will b struggling to peel my eyes open.

Wat have u learnt thus far? To tell the truth, I am not so sure. These few days, I hardly have the time or energy to simply sit down n chit chat wif the patients anymore! Evrythg is abt tutorials, trying to learn all u need to noe abt examining a system in one SINGLE day. I mean hello… so stressful!!! I am not tt smart! *hysterical* how can I learn evrythg in such a short period of time!!! Feel so helpless smtimes. Wonder how the seniors got thru all these times.

I need an OSIM massage chair. Aching all over! Soon I’d bcm a patient lor. hai.

Oh yes. N the patients hate us!!!! Haha. Especially those interesting cases. As this jolly uncle remarked, “oh yesterday I got 40 students who came to examine me ah!!! Today not bad oso lah, got 20++ so far…” oh yes. We r all reali shameless. We jz descend onto these poor unsuspecting patients like a swarm of bees n start feeling all over, percussing all over, n (for me at least) pretending to look intense n wise while auscultating. N then discuss “knowledgeably” abt the exciting find of a murmur n debate abt why we can actually hear the murmur better in the pulmonary area rather than aortic area since it is an aortic problem.

If I am the patient, I tink I will freak out. Start saving up my dinner leftovers so tt I can pelt these pesky kids wif the urghy food. Haha. Oh well. But sm patients r reali jz sooooooooooo nice!!! Feel quite bad esp when I do a seriously substandard examination on them. Prob cause them a lot of distress. Will prob run from me the next time they see me. Haha.

This has reali been a BAD wk. Had such horrid PMS tt I thot I wldnt survive til Friday le. Grouchy irritable moody don’t-carish snappish evrythg nasty. Hope it’d pass soon. Nv recall a time when my mood swings got so bad.

N I feel so stressed!!!!
I need the wkends to rest!!!
I can feel my battered body complaining.
I need the wkends to study!!!
But I still got soma stuff to do!!!

I am seriously wondering if I am gg to pass my first end-of-posting test.

And oh yes. I absolutely detest abhor dislike airheads immensely. Don’t get me started. BAH. Humbug.