ah. mebbe i shld shut down my blog leh. one wk into eclinics n i'm feeling like a piece of rag tt has been wrung totally DRY. no energy. for anythg. ttsh is a slave-driving place. doesnt help i hafta squeeze into the mrt evryday to get there. if only i can move into sijin's hse. or txl's. haha. n i cant bear the thot of driving there. too long since i drove alone. sheesh. n no one near me got posted to ttsh. ARGH.

no social life. n i tink i can bid my tv a tearful gdbye! my bed misses my presence too. can u imagine. one day u r still lounging in bed after a 12-hr slp, the next day u r gettin up at ungodly hrs like 5.40am. wif only 5 hrs of slp. wat is this. haha. i shall go for a interview at the s'pore zoo for the job of Panda.

its not easy reali. suddenly realised gg to hospitals doesnt jz mean all fun n excietment of learning new thgs n putting wat u read abt into practice. much much more. for one, learning to get on wif life without ur usual clique. met up wif my clique yesterday. n gosh me n xtine actuali started tearing. not tt we r unhappy in our CG u understand. but cos old frens r jz not the same. cos we r all sort of on the same wavelength. we understand each others' jokes n idiosyncracies. n we laugh ALOT. at anythg!!!! n i jz missed evryone sooooooooooooooo much. i didnt even realised i wasnt laughin as much as i used to, until friday. gosh. my fault. i take a long time to warm up to ppl. so usually i jz bcm an introvery wif relatively new frens. ahah. ah well. my daily dosage of laughter has been cut down dramatically. laughter-deprived now.

n the patients. went to a paedatrics ward tt day. felt so guilty. jz for being healthy u noe. cos all the kids there were so young, vulnerable, n sick. i felt so sad jz lookin at them, n their parents, who mostly looked totally worn out. yet beneath tt tired face, u see their glimmer of hope. n ur heart jz aches. cos u can nv ever find the right words to say to give them comfort. n u can nv ever reassure them tt their kids will get better.

there was this little malay boy, his name was Amirul. so cute! so young. n he had leukemia. n yet, he seemed so healthy n normal. but u can feel the trauma jz by tokin to his aunt. its reali a tragedy. i cant imagine ever gettin used to facing new cases like tt evryday. sitting on his bed, watchin LOTR n surrounded by his spiderman toy, he looks like anyt cute little baby u will smile at on the street. can u imagine the heartache his parents mz b feeling? jz being a bystander was enuff for me.