the sky is overcast, gloomy, grey. raindrops are pattering outside, gently and soothing.

a fitting scene.

Mdm N passed away early this morning, just heard from huiling.

most unexpectedly, and i don't quite know how to deal with this. she has always been one of those we all thought would be well enough to go home soon. just yesterday, she was still cheery, insisting on going home, asking me why she can't go home. i remember laughing with her, and feeling apologetic when her dialect became too extensive for me to understand.

she was a very cute auntie, cheerful, optimistic, loves her grandson, enjoys chatting with us, and never fails to say thank you even when we do things she doesn't particularly like, like setting plugs on her.

it is something else when a patient you have known passed on, as compared to a pt whom you have not known before. her daughter must be really upset; just yesterday she was chatting about auntie fondly, recounting how auntie likes to add one yr to her age everyday she is in the hospital. she doesnt seem to know how old she is, but she does like to say she is in her nineties (when she's in her eighties).

i feel so tired. no more tears le. i just hope, fervently, that auntie knew that she was loved and liked. and that she had gone on to a better place.