bLoAt BlOat BloAT!!!!!!!!!!!

hoo boy. i feel BLOATED. hahaha call me bloat the blob from now on! *big silly grin* i have like, oh mebbe 20 pieces of durian happily nestling in the warmth of my roomy stomach now. Wahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! today's reali been a GREAT great day! havent had so much time for a long long lonnnnnnnggggggggggg time! lets see, we were s'pose to accompany xtine to geylang today to protect her from slimey creatures pretending to be human, cos it was her 1st tuition lesson with a thirty-smthg yr old businessman who wants to learn colloquial chinese... but in the end, he flew overseas for business! but we decided to go ahead with our durianing trip lah ahahah to my utmost relief! but since evryone had smthg they want to do b4 tt, me, xtine wessie cristelle n greggorie weggorie went off to ikea to walk walk. heh oh poor cristelle n greggie were very traumatised by the 3 of us squashed at the back of the car, cos we were making a huge ruckus! in their own words," its like bringing three three-yr-old kids out!!" haha oh which is quite true since they r my daddy n mummie n wessie is my little bro... n xtine must be the youngest then! ehehehehe =P ikea was wonderful! like a mini castle with lots of hidden nooks n crannies and lots of homey scenes.... esp now tt its nearing xmas!!!! wow all the xmassy feel in the air, its almost tangible ahha! wah i love xmas though i am not a christian... er-hmm by the way tt means i hope i get lots of xmas presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps with joy* oh but stupid wes The Stingy One declared tt xmas is too near my bdae, so i cant haf any xmas gifts... *growl* wat a tight-fisted terrible *hi* com *abia* hahahahaha =P we found sm reali oh-so-soft beds tt make u want to slp there forever!!!! *swoon* me n xtine were practically sinking into one of the beds wondering if beggars ever thot of coming in to slp at ikea....actuali make sense rite? they nv did put up threatening "DO NOT lie on the beds pls" signs that practically scream "else u will get it.....hiak" mah, if i were homeless i'd slp in ikea in the day n then roam the streets at nite. oh ok i digressed haha. anyway throughout the walk thru ikea greggie kept donking our heads with a cute kiwi fruit-like soft toy that we discovered n tt he named doobit. hahah doobit the stupid! (hey it rhymes! hiak) while wes the pest kept pushing me into sm makeshift toilet or try to suffocate me with huge cushion.... wah i tell u ah, smday i will haf my revenge! warn u countless times NEVER to incur the wrath of a woman, esp NOT me! (yes, haf nightmares abt how i will exact my revenge on u hehehe n break out in cold sweat tinking abt it wahahhaahhahahahahahahaa *evil glint*)

we FINALLY made it to geylang.... but not before an absoultely harrowing experience in cris's car whereby the only person who didnt "bully" me was cristelle. yes, even xtine joined in the lets-be-mean-to-huili game tt greggie so love to indulge in! *fumes with rage* hahaha so i had to declare i wasnt tokin to anyone except cristelle. just treated them like sm pesky mosquitoes buzzing ard my ears n pretended not to hear them when they speak to me! until greggie n wessie reali started saying "buzzbuzzzbuzzzzzz" to me..... DUH. hahaha oh dear my friends r reali..... erm..... ahhh.... interesting huh? gosh. so old yet so childish.... tsktsk

YAY! we started on our food trawl after meeting up with shaofeng the mong, mich the fish n sen the bend. haha. quite scary, my 1st time going to geylang although th rest said tt we r going to a relatively safe part. oh but feel quite ok oso lah, i mean i purposely wore jeans! n even debated smearing sm fright-nite fake blood to disfigure myself heh. (oh but guess tt will freak myself out too! haha) first stop was at a place where the rest ordered beef hor fun, frog-legs porridge and oyster egg.... all of which i dont eat! (i can hear the nagging coming from them already.... esp feng the mong who is firmly convinced i only eat mixed rice =P) n to tell the truth, my stomach was curling up with disgust as i watch them slurping down the porridge. ewww. poor froggies. cant imagine eating tt. oh gosh. had to put up reali strong resistance to prevent them from force-feeding me ahaha...

then.... we went on to eat yong he tau huay! haha hmmm slurp yum!!! i love tau huay!! oh but quite sad there wasnt enuff sugar syrup n tt takes the joy out of eating it... had to exert real strong will-power to say no to fried dough fritters! (sigh i hate diets.) n then... finally! durian time!

haha oh it was quite scary walking the streets to find a durian stall where we can sit n eat.... of cos the guys simply ignore our safety n walked like 1 km in front of us, with xtine n me bringing up the rear... !! *rolls eyes* just as we were muttering under our breath abt the uselessness of guys, sen was nice enuff to walk behind us. hahah lucky he did! we were one step away from goin into a black magic shop n sticking needles into voodoo dolls. (or i was anyway heh)

oh here comes the exciting part! *rubs hands in glee* we passed by sm women who were just standing by looking as if they were waiting for smthg. at first didnt tink much of it until i realise their blouses r reali reali low-cut, and sm sleazy characters were chattin them up! gosh. bits of interestin titbits of conversation we caught:

"i dont anyhow let women touch me one you noe... " proclaims an eighty-yr old uncle who was leering at the lady in front of him.

"wah, you don't know what i have been through in my life man... i have tried everythg..." boasted another uncle with a shifty look abt him. (oh haha this is based on my imagination based on wat xtine told me heh)

aiyo!!! i mean aiyo!!! so scandalous!!!! me n xtine were staring at each other in wide-eyed disbelief even as the blind-as-bat sen walks placidly behind us. didnt even notice anythg til we alerted him to the fact! FWAH. haha n nosey wes's eyes immediately lighted up when we mention a sexy lady, until we told him she works in the red light district. eheh. hmmm actuali reali quite an eye-opener lah, i have nv seen this kind of thg in my life b4 lor...

last stop: durians! i had a huge craving during cas but my mum refuses to let me near durians... heh. oh man!!! the whiff of durian smell is enough to turn my knees into jelly! hmmmm!!!! haha xtine n i practically pranced up to the stall n started smelling n choosing durians as if we were the experts... sen was s'pose to help us pick lah, but in the end the uncle helped us choose... not bad! we ate 3 for $10, 2 for $4 n 3 ultra good ones at $20!!!! oh heaven. and gosh u wldnt believ this. this durian had palm-sized pieces of durian flesh!!!! it was SO HUMONGOUS it looks disgusting haha. n erm dunno which smart alec referred to it as tumour. i mean, wateva appetite there was for the garguantous pieces was killed with tt reference. haha oh but i referred to it as fibrous! actuali which it was lah cos i tink the peripheral flesh prob aged liao haha. eeeugh it was quite gross watching everyone eat the impossibly gigantic durian!

oh the after-feeling was terrible. i ate so much it feels pain to sit! argh. was walking ard in a daze, feeling my temperature climbing n a sore throat developing. n cheeks have tt i-am-drunk rosy appearance! intoxicating. haha. was quite grossed out during the mrt trip home by sen who kept sending toxic fumes into the air whenever he laughed, which was like non-stop ahha. n wes was tryin to avoid the chemical warfare desperately as he was smack in the line of fire. teehee. oh n the best part was xtine!!! hahah tink she got drunk on xo d24 durians, she referred to my humerus as my GLOMERULUS!!!!!!! n we all promptly burst into fits of giggles. oh no xtine!!! n was teased mercilessly by feng who kept poiting to her head etc n naming them nephron, tubules etc. the whole world is mad. haha

yawn. finally another gone! looking 4ward to the 5-day break, plan to reali relax n njoy myself! ahah. meanwhile no more lunch for me tmr! i haf ingested enuff calories to last 5 days. *guilty* aiyah... die lah i am so weak-willed!!!! oh but i must work hard. if i dont lose 6kg i am gg to demand wessie pay me $2000 as compensation since he's the president of my slim-down club hahah! oh but if i do accomplish tt i get a free lunch! (hehe ritz carlton woohoo here i come!!!) alrite man towards my goal, wo yi ding xing! oh pls evryone, stop offering me food.

"Do Not Feed The Pigs Pls, Thank You For Your Cooperation. "