!!! woohoo !!!

YAY!!!!! this is a super super great day!!! ahah havent felt soooo ALIVE for a looong looong time!! ahah went to the red cross home for the disabled in the afternoon together with xtine, xtine's mum and a bunch of her colleagues!! my first time there, and the visit reminded me so much of my trip to spastic children's association last yr. actually was plannin to volunteer regularly at sca during this hols, but smhow they moved to pasir ris and i was too busy with myanmar trip and playing tt i didnt get down to doin it... oops. yep i am one lousy bum. *disgusted* oh well. anyway, it was a very humbling experience, smthg tt i cannot put into words. the kind of feelings i experienced while i was patting and trying to say some typical encouragin and comforting words to this child who's in alot of pain (he's having therapy) were very mixed. bittersweet. sympathetic. and a kind of i-had-to-be-strong-and-not-display-any-sign of weakness attitude. he was whimpering with pain, incoherent gasping and little noises that are the only means of communication he knows. me n xtine, we felt quite helpless. i kept smiling at him, i knew tt smhow i couldnt let him know tt we felt sad for him. if i were him, i wouldnt want sympathy. i wouldnt want to get those "oh my he's so pitiful" looks that keep boring into me. i want to see smiles, i want to feel loved, i would want a human touch. i would want someone to stay by my side, telling me to be strong, not to give up, i can do it! dunno why, but both xtine and i feel that there's smthg infinitely special abt the physical human contact. a little pat, a gentle massage can convey love and care like a thousand words can never do.

actually the home is itself a very bravely cheerful place tt speaks of alot of hidden sadness and unshed tears. but as a volunteer, i feel like i have to be a smiley and cheerful individual instaed of being a silent helper. the rare visitor can choose to either be a backstage worker, unseen and unheard, or try and be a beam of sunshine to the residents there who have little to laugh abt in their lives. it was heartening to see the more lucid residents smiling, waving, and chatting to us in return. in the end, the highlight of the trip wasnt the scary time up the ladders as we clean and spray-painted the fans (haha our hair became speckled white and so were our contact lenses!!! hiak =P) but the fact that there were ppl who actually seemed happy that we were there. just by simply being there. heart-warming!

we were draggin our feet by the time we left... wah. and we were only there for 2 hrs! cos we had arranged to meet up with lihui, meiling and zhengyi a long time ago! haha was s'pose to fly kite, eat at prince then go ktv-ing, but in the end we decided not to fly kite. no time. =( me n xtine were sooooooooooooo tired tt we decided its not worth the effort to change into our meet-civilisation clothes. ahah in the end we just walked all over the modern citylink mall in our cannot-make-it hwa chong PE attire. we looked... sloppy. haha as zhengyi so cuttingly put it, we were the lower class compared to the rest... GRRRR. oh but we felt so liberated! unfettered and dont-carish abt what society demands, which means lookin presentable when u go town. heheheh both of us felt so rebellious and "say" when we strolled ard in our beggar drabs! hiak. our poor frens tried to pretend they didnt noe us... (ok it was only zhengyi the superficial guy who did it huh!) we ended up at the aircon hawker centre! haha it feels like the good old days! tink the ppl sitting around us thought we were mad... most of the time (when we were not slurping down curry or chowing down our tomyam) we were gesticulating madly, talking at the top of our voices, throwing our heads back with laughter and basically making a fool out of ourselves! haha not tt we are trying to attract attention, but tts just the way thgs become whenever the five of us get together... we became wild. haha. unrestrained. ok must admit i was abit high with joy from meeting such dear frens again after such a long time tt meiling thought i was on drugs or smthg haha kept laughin at me... we did alot of stupid thgs lah, like tryin to name ourselves after the 7 dwarves ( i am dopey! ahah cos i am feelin high)... felt young again! then we decided to go ktv-ing woooohooo! too bad meiling had to go cos she still has to work tmr!

tts when the most memorable part of the night began.

we called ahead to book a room for ktv, then decided to take a cab down to the place. we stood by the roadside. assume a hail cab pose. were ignored. decided to stand on the road. waved like siao. stood in the middle of the lane, continued being ignored!!! all the cabs were either busy or occupied or hired or on call! *faintz* so there we were for half an hr, standing in the light drizzle, waving like madmen (haha tink sm cabbies were scared of us!), we even stooped to tryin to get into cabs tt stopped at red light! hiak. didnt help tt we found the whole thg super exasperating but very amusing too! zhengyi came up with a theory tt we must have died and evryone cant see us tts y we cant get a cab... when a taxi finally stopped in front of us, i almost sobbed with happiness!! ahah we wanted to kiss the feet of the taxi uncle!! thx uncle, we love you!

rushed into the ktv room, plonked down into the seats and then there was a mad scramble to pick out the songs we wanted to sing... YAY! and then we reali all let loose of our hair and had a uncensored head-shaking, hands-waving, dance like mad ktv session! ahah i love it when i go ktving with this bunch of frens: xtine, lihui, meiling and zhengyi. cos we are all so comfortable with each other and so enthu abt ktv we juz do the maddest thgs in the rm!! its almost like clubbing cum ktv lor! we boogie to sm really old and dancey songs like cao meng's (the grasshoppers), had action-packed and angst-filled singing to songs like sun yanzi's "wo bu nan guo" and all sorts of weird songs we all happen to know and like like dancing queen!!! ended with backstreet boys' i want it that way, with all of us pretending to be a boyband and doing all the typical act cool actions imitated from the real mccoy ahahahhaahahhahahahahhhahahah... my goodness. had such a good time!!! then we had to rush for the last bus liao =(

wahhh. guess wat. me and zhengyi missed the last bus!!!! 190 just passed us by just like tt!!! *swoon* in the end we took 143 (the bus-driver didnt noe the bus route and got us lost!!!) and then ran like mad to catch 67!!!! such a long way from the busstop to the 67 busstop!!  my god. i never ran with so much verve and feeling of helplessness in my entire life before! stupid zhengyi nv wait for me! haha oh but luckily he ran faster and managed to stop the bus...! when i got off had to walk home. really creepy. i was imagining weird things and it didnt help tt smthg seems to be wrong with my discman and it keeps jumping! i was dying of self-induced fright! whew, never felt so glad to be home before... such a harrowing journey home too! tink i am gg to spend one whole day recuperating! =P

oh yay! soe thihaha (fondly known as HAHAHAHA) is coming back to singapore today! too bad he doesnt want me and ah ting to go and welcm him! thought we can paint welcm back banners for him and drown him with dozens of flower garlands... =P ehehhe let other ppl tink hes a popstar or smthg! hiak. tt will be so fun! we miss him alot! ahhahaha. WELCOME BACK HAHAHAHA!!! *beams*

ok time to concuss on my bed. 2.40am. my, i am an owl. zzzzzzzzz