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i. cannot. believe. it. my computer. hates me. confirmed. the blog that i have written, is gone. gone!!!! just like that. with simply a "cannot detect network settings", my thousand-word blog is gone. *stunned* i'm too grieved to rant at the comp.

i am too traumatised to reproduce what i've written.

ok at least should try.

watched "mean girls" with a-ting today... after a calories-full big sinful meal at swensen's!!! yep we r on the brink of bankruptcy. it was a super bimbotic show which we enjoyed lots hehhe =D cos there was a moral-of-the-story. all the bitchiness and back-stabbing aside, there was alot of parallels to real life that makes the story smthg both of us could identify with. there was sadness through all the comic laughter, friendship amidst all the facades. hmmm one part of the movie i especially like: "we do not become slimmer by saying others are fat, we do not become more intelligent by saying others are stupid..." indeed. why do we bad-mouth others?? i am no angel, must admit i did my fair share of behind-others'-backs talk. mostly abt ppl i do not know but had bad impressions of. but in retrospect, really cant figure out why i did it. although the comments i make r not the "fat", "stupid" kind, i tend to judge and classify ppl easily. like "she's so superficial", "he's so egotistical" etc...i tink many ppl tend to do tt. hmmm but mebbe its all one big misunderstanding? realise my first impressions r almost always changed when i finally get to know these ppl in person. wahhh is it really human nature to talk behind ppl's backs?? sounds terrifying.

today was a day of reflections. was tinking of friends. who do we count as friends? i define friends as ppl who r there for me when i'm feeling down and in the pits, who r there to share my joys, who r sensitive to my feelings and will not hurt me intentionally through flippant remarks. but i tink there r sm ppl out there who have a very blurry fuzzy idea of what true friends r. and those who have their own personal hidden agenda would probably never have true friends. friends are not ppl you hang out with and share the happiest moments with, tink u can sift out who r the real friends by tinking abt who r those who were there with u through the bad times. its so easy to be a fair-weather friend, anyone can do tt. but to offer comfort, to lend u a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, tts not smthg evryone can do. i tink true friends need not be those u see evryday or even feel very close to, but they r those who care abt u, and cheer u up with little sweet notes when life looks bleak. friends r not used to boost ur status, or to be made use of so that others brand u as the in-crowd. they r not here to complement ur popularity, or for u to make use of to climb the corporate ladder. smtimes i feel that friendship is a gift that is often offered, but not always cherished or accepted readily. many ppl view friends as a networking sort of thg, so tt u know the right ppl and have friends from all walks of life. i find it very tiring to tink so much when i make friends. why bother??? its like another meaningless and never-ending task to add to an already complicated life... its like having to calculate how well i should treat so-and-so, judging by how much use this person would be to me. so... pragmatic and cynical!!! not to mention draining and i bet it would ultimately turn u into smone who's absolutely disillusioned with life.

hmm smtimes i tink i would love to stop time forever at the time when i am 5 yrs old. things seem simpler then. just eat, play, sleep.