Top Of The World... Not =( (SICK!!!)

22nd june'2004 ... and more

what an unfortunate day!! in the mornin, lao ban suddenly turned ghastly white and had to be taken back to the hse to rest. during the 2nd lesson, i suddenly felt weary to the bones. i simply had no more strength to stay with the students and teach them the proper pronounciation. i got up and went to sit with the rest at the side of the classroom. i wonder if i am sick?? oh but i can't!!! there's only 3 more days left in this village and that very afternoon i would be starting the singing and snakebite lessons for the first time and i was in charge of teaching!!! i refused to admit i was sick, and refused to go back and rest. i can do it!!! huiting stayed with me during lunchbreak cos i was too tired to walk back to the house n eat. when they came back, i leaned on sijin's back and felt like i was dying. still, i didnt want to say anything. however when they took my temperature, i was shocked to hear that i was having a fever of 39.4 degrees celsius!! i was promptly escorted back home by kok wee. felt very miserable. couldnt take my mind off my snakebite lessons, had a million zillion worries on my mind. back in the house, kok wee helped me light mosquito coil and dug out panadol for me to eat.i fell into a drowsy sleep... interrupted by cats' meowing and mosquitoes buzzing. when the rest came back after lessons, the doctor was with them. i recall huiting helping me fetch water for a sponge bath, sijin sponging me, soe thiha sitting near me, kok wee and zhimin talking to the doctor. he wanted to give me an injection, and just before he did, kok wee asked what it was. voltaren, he replied, and i almost had a fit. had to struggle to tell him i was allergic to voltaren... thanks kok wee!!! u saved my life. injection was out of the question then, so i was transferred to team a house and came under the loving care of ng zhimin aka mama. i was delirious, so hot was i feeling. but zhimin was ALWAYS by my side, sponging me without stopping, without complaints, without resting. sponging, sponging, sponging. day, night. and enhao was there fanning me, fanning, fanning, fanning. i was having severe diarrhoea, and extreme bouts of nausea, and many helpful souls gave up their fruitips and mentos to me. tens of sick bags were placed by me, and every time i drink water, i vomitted. zhimin gave me morphine, and i floated into oblivion blissfully... oh but it was short lived. the vomitting came back with a vengeance. i will just wake up suddenly at night and grab a bag and vomit. i didnt want to wake anyone up, so i just went back to sleep. however at 5 am, i vomitted again and woke enhao papa up... and during that one hour i vomitted 4 times. my gdness!! i told zhimin my esophagus is goin to die from all the acid... but she was really such a comfort! she just smiled and said "no lar!" in that very sure way, i just had to believe her! and still she continued sponging me... sijin came in very often, and it was she who made me my first cup of hot diluted condensed milk, smthg my dad always make me when i was sick... throughout my illness, which remains hazy in my mind, i was cared for by so many people!!! huiting will bring me flowers, yew sen will run ahead to the toilet whenever i have diarrhoea to help me light a candle, en hao, lao ban, kaung zaw will sit by my bed and fan me... sharon will help me to the toilet and back and to the toilet again... and help me to get toilet paper and helped me to the bathrm... zhimin is ALWAYS around!! when i was put on drip, i was really scared but was too sick to say anything... she was with me when the nurse gave me glucose injections, and she was there when the doctor gave me truckloads of medicine. through my drowsiness, i saw zhimin and lao ban painstakingly writing down the different medicine i have to take, and making records of the times that i took the medicine and the times i puked, and my temperatures at different times... i know that evryone was worried about me, cos i was vomitting out evrything i eat and drink, so i was severely dehydrated. but i never did once despair, cos so many people were showing me concern!! zhimin will wind alarm to wake up and feed me antibiotics, and enhao will wake up too. when i was retching nini, nyet nyet, phyo and kaung zaw will rub my back to help me vomit. when zhimin is not around, enhao will help me change my towel to put on my forehead and my neck. whenever i go toilet to diarrhoea, i will hear shaofeng shouting "huili jia you!!" (sorry i was too weak to reply you) okkar will come and visit me, and even taped down the whole campfire and showed it all to me. gopal will wander in to ask if i'm ok, and even nilin whom i've never talked to before came and check my temperature. someone told me the cookhouse uncle will ask " li, she fever still?" not to mention the countless people who came to see me... mavis, xinyi, meizhen (thx for ur ai xin niu nai too!), longfang, claudia, yunxin, ah-ma!!! soe thiha, ye naing win... throughout the period, i recall sijin telling me not to give up, to fight on so that i can go back yangon with evryone else. i really really willed myself to get well but it still took 3 days. i remember the last day of sch, i badly wanted to go... i managed to brush my teeth and wash my face, i was exhilarated!!! but my fever went up again at lunch break, so i couldnt go and say bye to all the little kids. i was upset, really!! but i didnt feel well enough to go either... =(((( i took a bath, my 1st in 3 days!! and felt refreshed. tried to pack bag, wow it was a really tiring business!! then we went to wait for the bus to yangon. said goodbye to soe thiha, xinyi and gang, but once on the bus, i couldnt find the strength to wave anymore. i plopped down on the seat and braced myself for the harrowing journey ahead, knowing i still have diarrhoea and was still feverish and had motion sickness to boot! with that the bus drove away. away from dear familiar faces that i may not see again... it was with regret that i left without proper goodbyes to my dear dear friends.







the bus ride was terrible, there was a passenger vomitting behind me and that makes me want to vomit too. luckily huiting was beside me, ready to drown me in medicated oil and ek khoon was gallantly holding on to my heavy backpack, else i really wondered how i could have survived. i have diarrhoea at every toilet stop, and by the time we reached yangon, i almost couldnt believed that i survived.

on the trip back to Lucky Brothers, i sat in front on the lorry with phwar phwar. as i gazed at the passing scenery, i felt a sense of loss. that i should be leaving all these fond memories behind the very next morning, thereby ending another wonderful chapter of my life. i felt a sudden great urge to write, but had no paper to pen down my feelings. and the scenery rolled by...

back at aung hein's hse, i felt better now tt i no longer had to sit in a bus or any vehicle. i actually felt hungry!!! it was a wonderful feeling. =) we went for breakfast and i ordered an egg prata!! wow tantalizing smells!! looks yummy!! but i took a few bites and my stomach couldnt take anymore... so sad!!! at the breakfast table, i took my first good look at Sue (correct spelling??), aung hein's girlfriend... wow! she's so pretty and demure and sweet! aung hein is super lucky lor!!! hee.
after breakfast we split up to do shopping... me, huiting, sijin, kok wee, enhao and aung phyo were in the same group. we went shopping for medical books etc... boy it was tiring!!! when we finally went for lunch we were all tired out! it was then we realised that enhao was running a high fever. VERY high fever in fact! 40.4 degrees celsius!!! swiped clean the record that i set!! so scary right... so we rushed him back to rest. actually i felt very guilty, cos i tink almost evryone who helped take care of me fell sick. even claudia who was with me for w short while fell ill! so sorry evryone...

in the evening, we went to the lake. i felt hoards better!!! as if i've never been ill!! was merrily taking photos and learning to skip stones like ye naing win (gah didnt succeed!) the lake was beautiful... it was so calming!! gave me a sense of peace... after that we went to shwe... smthg smthg pagoda, and were told not to talk to prevent paying US$5 per entry. it was a dazzling place of worship!!! there were numerous statues of buddha and everywhere was a sheen of gold... as i walked hand in hand with sue n sharon, i felt small. i felt dwarfed both mentally and physically by the buddha statues, and though i wasn't a devout buddhist, i felt like saying a prayer. it was quite a challenge to keep mum, and throughout the visit, okkar will walk innocently up to me periodically and helped me take photos... hee we were sneaking around quite expertly!! until we were discovered, how i'm not sure. sue simply let go of our hands and gently pushed us away while our burmese friends are left behind to settle the matter with the police/security guards.





after that harrowing experience, we went to a restaurant called PLAYBOY. sleazy name!!! ahahah but turns out that a fight broke out there recently and it's no longer sleazy... the food was quite good, and many ppl drank burmese beer... it was late before we finally walked back. i remembered it was a night with few stars. talked to ye naing win abit, then okkar. was very touched when okkar told me he was really glad that i was well again. =D and he told me i musn't forget kaung zaw. which made me feel bad for not having said a proper goodbye to kaung zaw in the village!taking the stroll made me feel like i want to prolong my stay in myanmar forever. i didnt want to leave myanmar. after buying hi-tea to bring back to s'pore, we went back home and started packing up. actually wanted to stay up and have a good long chat with everyone, but in the end many fell asleep. left with me, mavis, rita, lao ban, zhimin, sharon... chatted awhile, heard alot of regrets on the seniors' parts, mainly they felt like they didnt do a good job of leading us. i was confused, cos it had been a really great trip for me, but i guess it's different for them who had been to myanmar prior to this and had higher expectations. our talk ended at 4++ in the mornin, with me n rita rushing to diarrhoea in the toilet repeatedly. decided to catnap before setting off to the airport... actually only me, rita n lao ban were awake the rest concussed a long time ago hahah...

morning came too soon, soon we were on our way to the airport. in the mini bus, we told okkar to pls come and look for us if he ever comes to singapore, we'd treat him to lots of yummy food!!! i looked out the window, my last chance of storing burmese scenery in my head. hope that okkar will get a job in singapore yay!! gambatte okkar!! =D

highlight of airport arrival: we saw a burmese popstar!! took photos... exchanged parting words. i couldnt take it, i was tearing and was "scolded" by huiting and sijin. sigh i hate partings!!! on the plane, i was stopped by a little girl, who asked if i remember her. of course i do! she was the daughter of the pop star. chatted with her, realised she was studying in macpherson pri sch and aspires to be a pop star like her dad. so sweet! =) said she missed her dad alot, poor thing... its things like that that set burmese ppl apart from s'poreans i tink. s'poreans, i tink, are jaded and will never do smthg like stop a stranger and strike up a conversation. we tink too much, are too suspicious and are constantly on our guard against this or that. i tink i like myself better in myanmar. the huili who can laugh out loud and have no guard up against anyone.







well well, i've been back for almost a week. have developed my photos, and thumbed through them everyday still. i miss myanmar!!! i miss all my burmese friends!!! i miss the people who went on the trip with me!!! (no more hearing sijin scold people in her sleep or have her whack me with an alarm clock)i miss the kids!!! i miss nelly the dog!!! i miss the teachers!!! i miss the villagers!!! i miss my students!!! i miss the simplicity of life in the village. i've never known that so much beauty can lie in such simplicity.
i craved for that kind of life, one that was loaned to me for a lovely two weeks. thank you fate, for bringing me to myanmar. for letting me meet such great people on these trip. =)
tink it's time for me to come out of my little world and be a s'pore girl again. stop humming dogaro and stop carrying my myanmar bag evrywhere with me. sigh. who knows, i may go back to myanmar and stay for a few years next time when i've become a doctor!!


lastly, to dedicate this song to all my teammates and all my burmese friends: you all let me realise the true meaning of this song. love you all, very much!!!


Top Of The World

Such a feeling's coming over me
There is wonder in most everything i see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And i won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything i want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because YOU ARE HERE
You're the nearest thing to heaven that i've seen

I'm on the TOP OF THE WORLD looking
Down on creation and the only explanation i can find
Is the love that i've found
Ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's telling me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees
And the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasing sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through i hope that i will find
That tomorrow will be
Just the same for you and me
All i need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the TOP OF THE WORLD looking
Down on creation
And the only explanation i can find
Is the love that i've found
Ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world... =D